Happy Capitalist Rip Off Day!

I hate Valentine’s day. It’s official. Maybe it’s because I was never sent cards in school, maybe it’s because I can’t stand the massive consumer push behind it or maybe it’s simply because I’m an ice queen completely void of romance…you decide!

Saying you don’t like Valentine’s day is like saying you don’t like kids. People can’t get their heads around it and it proper offends them. Let’s just say I’m not single AND I’m not going through a bad patch in my relationship!

Honestly, the whole thing just makes me cringe! Like walking down the high street seeing window displays of heart-shaped balloons floating around with heart-shaped chocolates, heart-shaped cookies scattered with rose petal. Nah not for me. My husband bought me the best present last year, we never celebrate Valentine’s day so I nearly went for him when he announced my present. I swear I thought my fellow Valentine’s hating husband had been consumed by the lovey-dovey brigade I felt sick, but out he pulled a bouquet of crisps! That’s why I married him!

It’s all over bloody social media, I can’t even have a good sneaky Insta scroll without seeing bloody celebs prepping themselves for their Valentine’s Day glow with Coco Brown fake tan. Sorry but last time I checked, it’s February. Your Caribean tan looks a tad out of place in Essex and you forgot the #ad.

The cost of it all is mental. Soz, but I’d rather that money you spent on the card, pressie, meal out and the panic buying little shitty presents towards a holiday fund or towards something I would actually want. Hell even lash it over towards the birthday fund! If you go out Valentine’s you’re looking at an overinflated price for an average meal. Even bloody Nando’s will have a set menu on to ease the pressure of a busy night(!). They will have crammed couples in like sardines and there will be millions of giant balloons and shitty heart-shaped confetti all over the table……FUCK THAT!

And I’m probably fuming cos I can’t get a waxing appointment the week of Valentine’s day as everyone is super busy getting themselves prepped for the big day; you don’t want a hair poking out of the £80 quid bra and knicker set that you’ve just been robbed of bought.

And Roses are like the shittest flowers ever! My favourites are lilies, ironically, as they are funeral flowers. Take from that what you will.

Anyhow, I’m probably a miserable bitch and I can barely stand romance on our anniversary, I didn’t even cry at our wedding. I know I’m a rare breed but I just thank my lucky stars my Adam is the same, we certainly are a perfect match.

Bleeeuuurrrggghhhhhhh enough romance for now.

Thanks for reading,

BBB
xxx

 

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